…and removing veiled interpretations of a dark journey will hopefully lead those in perpetual nightmares to know they are not alone, and there is peace of mind and personal salvation if you stop for just a moment and…breathe.
That sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body is the most primal sense of being alive humans can experience. We take that process for granted, like it’s always going to be there. When you can wrap your minds around the miracle of that process, you know you have come to terms with the power to go from victim to survivor.
I’ve written six poetry books, a novel, and another book is coming out in early November, These books have focused on rape, incest, domestic violence, abandonment and the constant nagging sense of not having any self worth. In the beginning, the poetry was veiled and you had to read between the lines. As time went on, I became more beholden to telling the truth in all its dark and painful reality. The most recent book that is a collaboration with Shannon Kalahar, “Rejecting 18 Square Feet,” opened a door that has since been blown off its hinges.
This blog has taken on a life of its own since going through my funeral and rebirth. The realization that I’ve actually come out on the other side, fairly intact, has placed before me the understanding that it’s time to give back. Going forward these posts will be moments in time, unveiled, of how the mind works when in the midst of the nightmare. It has become easy over time to write about those episodes in double entendres and suggestive words cleverly extracted from a thesaurus, but the time has come to reach into that place that until now only I have dwelled.
My desire is to reach others that feel like there is no hope, extend my hand, share my words, and let them know that hope was the one thing that kept me fighting. It’s why I’m here today.
“I’m writing on the walls
words etched in memories
of who and what and where I should be
hoping gravity keeps me bound
to my love for the poetry
that reaches out to sisters
surviving victim mentality
putting strength in lines on my face
space and time is mine
to define my purpose
and when I look at their reflections
I see me in shaded empathy
then I know
I’m who and what and where I should be.”
That is all.