Running away from…

As I sit in my little artist loft and listen to the sound of my air conditioner jacking up my electric bill, my mind wanders.

I’ve often wondered about the human desire to run away.  We never seem to be satisfied with where we are or who we are.  The need for satisfaction is pretty close to an obsession.  The problem is that when we get to where we are going, instead of kicking back, relaxing, and enjoying the fruits of our labors, we immediately begin to strive for the next goal.  I am very guilty of this foible.  Though there are times when moving on is necessary for growth and survival, oftentimes it is merely a fixation to divert away from anything that might not be nearly what we expected it to be once we have arrived.

We search incessantly for the ‘perfect’ partner, only to find him or her, pour our hearts and souls into them, then become bored and begin seeking a diversion because we are convinced there is someone better out there.  We run away from loved ones.

We strive for the ‘perfect’ career, put all of our energy into it, climb the corporate ladder, earn lots of money, and inevitably sacrifice our physical health and mental well being to reach just one more rung on that ladder.  It’s that constant striving that either puts us into an early grave or a life filled with medications to prolong the agony. When we reach the breaking point we begin to look for another means of survival and we run away.

We look for the ‘perfect’ home.  The house that defines our level of success that brings to light we are only in deeper than we thought and capitalism is about to strip away what we worked so hard to own which forces us to seek shelter before we end up on the street, so we run away from the house that was never really a home .

We acquire the ‘perfect’  toys like boats, motorcycles, planes and multitudes of electronics to convince ourselves we are successful because we have stuff.  When we are unable to pay for them anymore, we crawl under the radar and run away from the little bit of leisure we are convinced can only be achieved with debt driven belongings. We run away from our financial obligations with the excuse that the economy stripped us of our just rewards.

The irony is that seeking all of that perfection is the one thing that drives us to continue striving for the perfect life, with the perfect person, the perfect job, the perfect house with all of the bells and whistles designed to keep us striving for more stuff to create a perfect life.

We seem to forget along the way that the only really perfect thing is embracing life for what it is, a journey aside from the cookie cutter life we are convinced we are supposed to lead..  Though I am to some degree guilty of some of these things, I am learning day by day just how precious this life I have is.  My perfection lies in my art and though at this point it prevents me from committing to a relationship, dedicating myself to a career, owning a house, or having toys beyond what I need to be creative, I do have one perfection that surpasses all others, I create.  No matter how far I ever try to run, that goes with me.  The magic pill I’m seeking now is understanding that where I am and who I am is a gift each morning when I wake up.  Embracing that and being grateful for my life, those in it, and the dreams I am pursuing convinces me more every day that running away would take me to a greener pasture that requires the process of nurturing my new surroundings with a fervor that would deny what I have worked so hard to accomplish to this point.

I am where I am for a reason.  You are where you are for a reason.  It is where you will affect lives and create change, not only in your small corner of the world, but the world as a whole.  Embrace it.

That is all.