A Poet's Life


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Letting go of dreams…

As a child, my father used to tell me that dreams were a useless waste of time. Being the impressionable youth I was, I believed him, however, I did the unthinkable and harbored a „secret“ dream.  I dreamed that one day I would get away from the negative influence my father had on my life and live an exciting and adventurous life.  I wanted to be all of the things he told me I should clear my head of, a dancer, a singer, a painter, a writer…

The writer stuck.  As far as my father was concerned I had trashed the idea of becoming a writer, but in reality, I would pull that dream out of my secret place at night and imagine it being a reality when I was grown up.  My friends used to comment on how happy I always was, Mona, the fun friend, the buddy to the guys in school, the one that didn’t cry and never seemed to have the emotional issues her friends had as puberty descended upon us.  That’s because I didn’t have any dreams.  I wasn’t allowed to take art or photography in school, or get involved with the school newspaper or yearbook staff, I had a brother to raise.  None of my friends knew the dark despair that lingered in my world every day.  I felt I dealt with it rather well considering my age.

Through the years as my life progressed, letting go of my dreams became routine.  It wasn’t until I became a single woman that I began to nurture dreams.  I went to college at the age of 40 and returned again at the age of 53.  I have a BA in Creative Writing that was actually the catalyst driving a permanent wedge between my father and I.  He didn’t approve.  I just got my Master’s Degree and have been floating through that common place of, „what’s next?“   I’ve had a dream of about 10 years now and every time it surfaces I push it under believing it to be way too far fetched to be real.  It has become so easy through the years to quash the dreams that would require me to step beyond the ledge.  This is one I just can’t seem to let go, so I’m going to nurture it and dive in with both feet when the time is right.

My advice: Don’t EVER let got of your dreams.  They are the fuel to your fire, the fire for your journey, and the journey for your purpose. Dream on.

That is all.

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