When people are hurt, they lash out and oftentimes resort to REPRISAL.
More often than not, at the end of human relationships there is a great degree of pain, sadness, and even anger. It is in our nature to lash out and continue hurting the one we profess to love. I’ve certainly had my fair share of responding in like rather than taking the high road and walking away with my self-respect.
Most of my life, I have tried to figure out how someone that wants to correct a wrong in a relationship does so by exhibiting continued behaviors that only exacerbate the reason for the initial breakup. This applies to family, friends, and lovers alike. When a relationship comes to an end, I have always tried to walk away with dignity and respect. I feel it is important to truly try and understand what is happening in the other person’s mind and heart and gauge my reactions to the situation. This is not to say that bad behavior and emotional abuse should be tolerated or accepted, I do feel, however, that realizing someone that loves me is in their own private hell, takes the burden of owning someone else’s behavior off of my plate.
I can honestly say I don’t understand what goes through a person’s mind when they realize something is over rather than accept it with integrity, feel the need to cause more hurt, more pain, more sadness that must be sifted through before healing can begin. I don’t understand how someone can hurt another person with intent because their agenda has not been satisfied. Again, I am working on being a better person by trying to have empathy and not responding in like to hurtful behavior. It is always easier and more satisfying in some strange way to fight back and push hate forward than it is to back away and not engage. It is difficult, to say the least, to accept that the person professing love but causing pain, is doing so out of desperation. In the end, letting go without reprisal is a way to faster healing for myself and those around me that love me.