It’s like swiping a cloth across a grimy window and finally being able to see outside.
I’ve been going through some very intense transitions the past few months. That saying of, “when it rains it pours,” has been quite apt for my current life track. There are so many factors that occur to throw a person off the rails, the end of a relationship, not having a home, fighting the drudgery of poverty, struggling with self esteem, losing faith, and the list goes on.
Despite these hurdles, I have always persevered. I have been through far worse and managed to come out mostly unscathed. Every time I look at my children, I realize just how strong and committed to life I am. The problem is, I conditioned myself to do whatever it took to feed, clothe, house, and provide love to my babies, and in the process I forgot how to take care of myself.
I am trying to learn who I am, what I want, and what I have to do to BE.
The greatest discovery that has pushed through the walls of the box I placed myself in, is the realization that I have a gift I’ve never really embraced. I LOVE words. I have a PASSION for words. I want to share that gift with as many people as possible. I have sought out menial jobs to supplement my teaching income in order to minimize the stress of trying to survive. I don’t just want to survive anymore. I’m past that. I realized while sitting alone in a mass of people reading and writing at a bookstore coffee shop, that menial just isn’t good enough. It’s time to place my future endeavors on the foundation of my love for writing.