A few days ago, I finished my book, Rejecting 18 Square Feet. I am working very closely with two amazing ladies, Shannon Kalahar and Shannon West, as well as Dolly Donshey who is providing the veils for my shoot. I’ve had the friendship, support, and sisterly love of Stacy Rush throughout this journey. Ned Johnson, as always has been mentoring me through my writing process, and my newfound friend Marsha Goldstein has been a much needed voice of reason.
I woke up thinking about my children, Keegan and Amber, this morning. The depth of my love and respect for them is endless. I am proud of what I have accomplished as a mother and I send my deepest apologies for anything I might have done wrong along the way. We grew up together and became survivors. Though my daughter and I have always been close, the relationship that has evolved with my son never ceases to amaze me. He grew into the man I knew he would become and my pride for his accomplishments has no words of explanation. He’s my little boy all grown up and I miss his closeness every day. I am grateful for who Amber and Keegan are as human beings. They are truly incredible and a gift in my life.
In the past few days I have made a decision that will be life altering and scares the hell out of me. I am stepping into the world of a writer. 100%. Outside of teaching my two classes at UT I will be unemployed. I can think back to a time when I held three jobs to make sure my children had everything they needed. I lived in constant fear of not having enough money to survive. Every day was a struggle to make ends meet. That is not going to change anytime soon. This time, however, it’s a different reckoning. I need to do what I love. I live for writing more than ever. It is the core of my being and with the time I have left in this life I will dedicate myself to it. That gives me a great sense of inner peace.
As most of my friends know, I have been dealing with some health issues the past two years. I’ve been on countless meds for high blood pressure and diabetes. I’ve lived attached to a blood pressure machine and a glucose meter. I have truly lived in fear that one of those two illnesses was going to cut my journey short. Through better diet and exercise, I have lost over 30 pounds since giving up cigarettes, and I’m down from 8 pills a day to three, and working on getting rid of those. Since making the decision to dedicate my life to writing, my sugar levels have been at an all time low and I’m coming off of another blood pressure med.
I have also come to terms with my past and lain most of it to rest. In a nutshell, my state of mind has been one of peace, love, and forgiveness which leads me to the question I started with…How much can the mind affect the body?
That is all.